Series: My Wife (Episode 8)

NKECHI: Amara, get the door I am in the restroom!

AMARACHI: coming!! One minute (opens the door) wow! Where have you been since Saturday. We’ve looked everywhere for you!

EBUKA: why are you still here. You only had my permission to be here until Sunday. By my calendar, today is Monday. You should be in London and not here!

AMARACHI: I’ll explain..

EBUKA: (pushed her aside and walked angrily upstairs) Nkechinyere! Nkechinyere!!

NKECHI: dede!

EBUKA: come upstairs immediately!

NKECHI: hian! Give me 6 minutes. I’m freshening up!

(Nkechi went upstairs to his brother’s room after freshening up. But before then, she reassured Amara of her continuous effort to bring their agenda to fruitition )

NKECHI: dede you got me really worried! You disappeared since Saturday. No phone call or text message. Kee ebe igara? (where did you go?)

EBUKA: I lodged in a hotel

NKECHI: why?

EBUKA: so your friend did not tell you anything?

NKECHI: mba! She did not. What happened?

EBUKA: she did not tell you anything at all??

NKECHI: makachukwu onweghi ihe ogwaram (honest to God, she did not tell me anything ) However, she has been crying since Saturday coupled with the fact that her flight was cancelled and rescheduled for next Sunday!

EBUKA: go inside and ask her to pack up and leave immediately!

NKECHI: but why? What has she done? You can’t just send her away like that!
When I was stranded in Lagos, her brother housed me for weeks! If you are not going to tell me why you are sending her away, then ill call brother Chinwendu and tell him and I’ll leave with her!

EBUKA: if she must stay here, you must ask her to behave!

NKECHI: how? She’s been absolutely helpful so what do you mean?

EBUKA: The scanty clothes must stop! Funmi is coming back tomorrow so I wouldn’t want to see her walking around the house almost naked!

NKECHI: hahahah! Dede dede! But it’s not her fault that she’s got nice legs and body. So her crime is that she is more beautiful than your Yoruba wife!???
You know you are an Igbo man, so you are allowed to take a second bride. The elders will support you???

EBUKA: it’s either she abides by those rules or she leaves and you can tell whoever you like. I don’t care

NKECHI: okay, I’ll tell her. Would you like Some breakfast? We made some really nice omelette.

EBUKA: no thanks. You can leave now; shut the door behind you. Thank you!

(Nkechi joined her friend in her room, and Ebuka started to ring Funmi)

EBUKA: (??????)

FUNMI: hello..good morning

EBUKA: morning, how is mummy today?

FUNMI: she is fine. I got her some blood pressure tablets. So she is fine now

EBUKA: good stuff! So when are you coming back to me?

FUNMI: has your visitor left?

EBUKA: I have no visitor.

FUNMI: when is she leaving?

EBUKA: Why are you asking me? I don’t know! I don’t even talk to that lady! I have been paying 10 thousand naira a night in a hotel just to get you to believe I am not sleeping with her whilst you are away!
I have called you on video every single night since you left, just to prove to you that I am not keeping any other woman in the hotel either!
How else do you want me to prove my faithfulness to you!

FUNMI: I’m not coming back until she leaves.

EBUKA: I’ve told Nkechi to warn her about wearing shorts around the house, and she has agreed not to wear them anymore. Please come back, Funmi!

FUNMI: actually, I found this really nice Ibo lady. She is my dad’s tenant and we have become great friends so I don’t even feel like returning.

EBUKA: why are you doing this? Why are you exposing our young marriage to dangers! You would rather spend time with your new friend than me, right?

FUNMI: okay, I’ll come back on Tuesday. Babe, can you do me a huge favour please?

EBUKA: what favour?

FUNMI: there’s something I’ve asked Calista to buy for me. She called to say she got it. Could you please go collect it from her at Ibrahim junction please?

EBUKA: how would I know when she gets there?

FUNMI: she’ll call you. I’ve given her your number

EBUKA: whatever makes you happy.

FUNMI: thanks, I’ll see you on Tuesday morning

EBUKA: I love you

FUNMI: love you too

(Immediately Ebuka got off the phone, there was a knock on the door, when he asked the person to come in, it was Amara. But this time, she was fully clothed)

EBUKA: why are you in my bedroom?

AMARACHI: I’m sorry, I’ve been here for a while waiting for you to get done with the call so I can come and apologise for what happened on Saturday.
Please forgive me. That is not who I am…I….I just didn’t know what came over me. I am so ashamed of myself

EBUKA: Amara, you are beautiful. Let me be straight, you are damn sexy! You can turn an impotent man on! but you know I am married why would you harass me in the manner you did on Saturday?

AMARACHI: like I said, I don’t know what came over me. I sincerely regret it and I promise it will never happen again.

EBUKA: so when is your flight?

AMARACHI: Sunday

EBUKA: do you have enough spending money that will last you till then?

AMARACHI: not really but I’ll be fine

EBUKA: I’ll give you some money later in the day, and if you need anything let me know.. (phone rings) sorry, I need to take this call
Hello.. hello

Caller: hello, am I on to Ebuka?

EBUKA: yes, you are.

Caller: my name is Calista, your wife’s colleague. I’ve got something for her and I am at Ibrahim junction, sorry I can’t bring it to your house otherwise I would miss my bus home.

EBUKA: if that’s the only problem, then come. I’ll drop you home

CALISTA: are you sure?

EBUKA: sure!

CALISTA: alright, I’ll see you soon

(Calista dropped the item and as Ebuka was driving her home, she initiated a conversation)

CALISTA: Funmi tells me what an amazing husband you are.

EBUKA: does she!

CALISTA: yes. I wish I have a man to go home to every night

EBUKA: but you don’t look single to me

CALISTA: I am as single as it comes .

EBUKA: why?

CALISTA: I’m not attractive enough

EBUKA: you must be kidding me! You are stunning!

CALISTA: my house is the next block. Would you like to come inside and have a cup of coffee?. Don’t say no please

EBUKA: very kind of you! I will!

(They got in and Calista quickly changed into a very loose transparent shirt wearing only an underpant beneath and leaving about 4 buttons undone from the top)

CALISTA: sorry I had to quickly change.

EBUKA: no worries

CALISTA: would you like to have a look around the house?

EBUKA: do I have the time?

CALISTA: of course you do, you have nobody to go home to (gently pulling her shirt apart to reveal even more “skin”) by the way, why are you pretending as if you are blind?

EBUKA: how do you mean?

CALISTA: (takes off her shirt entirely) why are you behaving as if you don’t like this? (Pointing to her breasts)

EBUKA: ermm, I do. But they are on the wrong body. You are my wife’s friend

CALISTA: what does it matter?

EBUKA: everything

CALISTA: pressing herself against him, but I have on several occasions walked into her doing it with our manager. You see, it’s not so much of a big deal as you are making it look.

EBUKA: (gently pushes her away) what did you just say!!

CALISTA: these things happen everywhere and everyday. Funmi is known for her generosity at work, if you know what I mean?

EBUKA: (grabs his car keys and kicks the door open, jumps into his car and zooms off)

To be continued